Dialysis, hot stuff

not much sleep last night

another strange day at dialysis today

soon after settling in, my body was aching and muscles in shoulders and neck super tight and tense

nurse went to get me something I have never heard of, a cervical hot pack, which is kept in hot water, wrapped in a towel and placed on tight neck and below. and I do mean HOT, MELTED THE TENSION and I dropped into a deep deep sleep after basically two sleepless nights, bless you Nurse Sue.

ablut two hours I surfaced from my deep deep oblivion sleep, and to my alarm, the tenseness came flooding back into my nexk and shoulder, so I asked for hot pack number two which helped yet again.

tension tried to slip back in during the afternoon, but I held it off fairly well

Dialysis trouble

A short time into dialysis this AM my heart rate slowed from 58 or so to 33. The nurse gave me oxygen. My heart rate went up to my normal after twenty minutes. My blood pressure was okay through all this. Finished dialysis. Was driven to emergency in Midland. Saw a doctor after 3.5 hour wait. Doctor ordered my betablocker stopped. We wnill keep an eye in things. For the twenty minutes I felt a little bleak but fine the rest of the run and while wauting at Emergency dept.

getting worse

my hemoglobin issue is making me feel worse…..

it was down to 77 last week and they followed up with two units of blood and that raised it to 94

I believe normal range is more like 115-125

prior to the big dive it was 100-107

two ‘scopes in my near future, blood thinners stopped, GI tract bleding uspected

on the plus side my making of red cells is strong, I just cannot hold on to them, that combo rules out some very nasty possibilities

to be honest I feel like I am in decline heading toward death

I feel like a ghost not a person…tons of fatigue


for an hour or so today at dialysis, I drew this sketch of Samuel Beckett, my dialysis is four hours long….I go for dialysis four times per week….sketching passes the time…the drawing is not finished, needs some adjustments, catch lights added to the pupils will be especially value adding, still a good effort for 90 minutes of work

Samuel Beckett, my drawing
Samuel Beckett, my drawing


The cat likes it

when I open the top t shirt drawer in the dresser

so she can plunk down and snooze.

The dog sometimes yips and whines in her dreams,

other times she runs there too.

This is my year for odd and odder dreams.

Flying head first along the streets

of my old neighbourhood in Toronto, my body

six inches off the asphalt.

Also many nights when sleep is elusive like tonight.

In the last savage storm I watched the trees toss their heads

and consider snapping their limbs but they held on.

The two maples and the oak that we,

my older sister, my parents, and I together planted

Forty four years ago. They stand now fifty feet high

on Georgian Bay. I will miss them if they

lose their fight with our strange new storms.

I have always loved them like

the little brothers and sisters

I never had.

Almost the end of my newsletter “career”

I am staggering around within the sixth year of editing a quarterly newsletter for a non profit volunteer organization. I am running out of steam. I believe I have received about five bits of reaction to the newsletter.  Although we have a very small membership, through a few communications I know it does get passed on to others.

In six years two people have authored articles, all other content I have written. I have impersonated the president of the group who does not really want to communicate to the members.

We have embraced the new media, we have a blog, a website, and a Facebook page.

One blessing, we do not surface mail paper copies of the newsletter.  We send it out by email.

I suspect by this time next year either it will have ended, gone to live on the Facebook page, or a new editor will have picked up the fallen reins.  I will let you know how it turns out.

very rough dialysis

Dialysis Thursday September 4 2014

Bad dialysis run today. Felt like I was going to pass out for most of the run. Blood pressure was around 100/nn or lower, too low to remove extra fluid. Felt physically awful and would not have been surprised to throw up.

I start dialysis on Thursdays at 730 am and go until 1130 am normally. Today they asked me if I wanted to pack it in for the day and come back on Saturday since they had a chair free.

I made it home safely leaving the clinic around 930 am.

Once off the machine, I felt relatively ok. The night before I had not slept at all. For two of the nights out of three before that I had slept poorly.

So dialysis on Friday morning and on Saturday morning. Knock wood, I hope for smooth runs.