I cancelled my three and a half hour one way drive to North Bay for a poetry reading tonight. I was to be one of two readers. I had to face the reality of my level of available stamina and the fact that I have written almost no new poetry since I began dialysis two and a half years ago. My muse has gone away. My attempts to lure her back have not been successful. I am considering my literary options. One is to put down my pen and finish out my string simply as a careful reader.
One thing I did find out in preparing for the reading is the chaos of my digital documents. I had been carrying my poems forward from computer to new computer in folders called Poems YYYY. Now I am building a single folder called Poems MASTER FILE. When I looked through there for some old poems to print out for the reading they were not there. I did some hard drive searching without finding everything. So I turned to my website and blog and found them there. Once found, I copied the text and put them into Word documents saved in the Master File.
In the past I have read perhaps ten times. Quite a few years ago I spent a week in a Catholic high school in Toronto reading and talking about writing poetry in a whole bunch of classes. It had beena long time since I had run my day based on the ringing of bells. A great week for me.