today dialysis


right now in the chair and hooked up to the dialysis machine (artificial kidney) about one hour into my four and a half hour run.  My nurse tody is one of the veterans but for some reason is a little more painful than average in inserting needles in my fistula.  My cotribution to the problem is my tough skin.  It is still surprising the difference in smarting when the two needles ar eput in depending on which nurse. Some nurses are not consistent in this. Sometimes with a nurse they go in light and sometimes they go in hard.  When it’s hard, i usually clench ny teeth and I hiss.

Switching to the afternoon shift has been a blessing. With the morning shift Iwas getting up between 5:30 and 5:45 am to get ready and allow time to brush snow from the car and scrape the windshield, to arrive for 7:10 am. Some mornings I would get behind a slow snow plough. You don’t want to be late because it can adversely affect the afternoon shift of patients.

had to type this one finger, can’t move my left arm,  which is annoying, I learned to touch type when I was in grade 8. I didn’t learn at my school.  My mother enrolled my older sister and I at an eveniung typing class at Shaw Business College.  I was the sole male in the class.  Most of the students were women.  It was a good skill to pick up some 45 years ago,

on our walk this afternoon Grace jumps up on me


Grace will be two years of age in June.  We have been to obedience school and she will heel for part of the time on our walks but sometimes she just turns into a mexican jumping bean.  photo made with a Pentax K10D and Pentax DA 18-55mm lens

Nothing to do with Zen – Poem


Nothing to do with Zen

This poem has nothing to do with Richard Brautigan

After the rain fell for a year
I began to notice puddles were nothing new.
You told me I would begin to realize these things.
I was feeling the great ache. A new version.
Upgradable to wisdom for a price.

Pray for us now and all the hours
until we reach a safe place.
The cat knows what that is.
When did I lose my last molecule of patience.
The snow was trying to be rain
And failing against my windshield.

we use words
to dissect our experience,
put distance and padding and forgetfulness
between ourselves and the present. We know.
We spent time figuring out the past —
the outcome tax calculation
the night before the filing deadline.
Counting. The annual
comedy fest evolves curiously.
You know what I mean.

A gurgle and a giggle and the pushing rush of all that
turned inside out
like your sweater that you rushed
to pull off,
the miracle of that everyday magic trick.
Strong hands and patient eyes.

And when the sun goes out
like an old light bulb when you switch it and it says gone
in a joke without a punch line. .
You nod like an old soldier in the front
of an old fire    in an old chair
and the kitten attacks the dancing
fire flickers   on the black tile     before the fireplace
in a home you knew.

So many obstacles, none of them
created by anyone else.
Must be elves, no
and not escaped midgets from the circus.
All my work.
It is only love.
It is only joy and another roll
through the car wash for souls.
I have a coupon for two.

Monday report


Dialysis yesterday was aside from one tiny needle adjustment, smooth.   I brought my big entertainment laptop from ACER, it of the sometime flickering screen, and watched the last two episodes of Doc Martin Season 1 and into Season 2.  I got them out of the library.  This is a hilarious comedy.  Piggy backed onto an unsecured wireless connection and checked a few things online including the weather.  There was a flash freeze warning.  The warmth, relatively speaking and certainly above freezing, was going to plunge by late afternoon and evening and the weather folk were concerned about wet roads becoming ice roads.  Fortunately with the high winds of the day, the roads were bone dry by the time the temp plummeted. I had received instructions from the girl cats and Grace to pick up a valentine’s gift from them for my sister who works very hard to take special care of this four footed herd.  A small bear holding a heart came home with me.

view from the kitchen door this morning


it is still snowing a bit, lots of snow and blowing snow last night, made for a fun drive homelast night from dialysis