handy man comedy of errors


The back deck, I call it the back deck, the house is a lake front cottage so the back faces the road. Some people call that the front. I am not one of them. Anyway, the back deck needed a new coat of stain. It gets a lot of wear and tear, people, dog paws, snow shovel scrapings. that kind of thing, plus it catches the late afternoon and early evening sunlight and the sun is tough. I checked the garden shed, known locally as the little shack. I had assumed that there was a roller handle, rollers and an extension pole for the roller handle.Wrong. No handle. So off I head to the old hardware store in the local village for a $3.64 roller handle. Back to the back deck. I clear off the two chairs and table and the two recycling bins that live on it. I open the can of new stain and to my amazement I see stain the colour of coffee with cream.  Cedar. Oh my God. Its the wrong colour. The cottage and deck is a reddish stain. The switch in my head where my brain should be suddenly recalls that the shade of Rez stain we have been using for some 30 years is Redwood. Cedar is the colour of the shingles that we had put on the roof last fall. So I now know that I can only hold one colour name in my head at one time. Several words are uttered that young sailors should not hear. I close the lid on the stain and jump in the car and drive to Midland to Canadian Tire to return the wrong stain and to get the right stain. I achieve personal success.

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Author: William J. Gibson

62 year old - writer/photographer Canadian, survived open heart surgery, received kidney transplant, sometimes dour, sometimes amusing, over six feet in height, severely follicle challemged

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